Set in a fictional Italy where everyone speaks English and the carabinieri are co-operative, Ron Howard’s follow-up to Frost/Nixon – call it Angels/Demons – stars Tom Hanks’ older, jowlier brother as Robert Langdon, a Harvard professor whose expertise in symbology is such that he can decipher the washing instructions on a top from Zara. The Pope is dead, and before you can say – or see – “Holy smoke”, a member of the Illuminati has committed the cardinal sin of planting an anti-matter bomb in the Vatican. Never mind that “illuminati” means “enlightened ones” – it sounds enough like “eliminate-ee” to cast suspicions on the ancient sect. Langdon, a character so one-dimensional he would only appear two-dimensional in 3D, is on the case, accompanied, as in The Da Vinci Code, by a raven-haired Euro-hottie (Nigella Lawson), a scientist specialising in particle colliders and loose plot strands. Sample dialogue: “The illuminati symbol was the all-seeing eye in a triangle, the perfect Pythagorean structure. And what else is triangular? Pyramids…Toblerones…and Dairylea! It can only mean one thing: this story is pure cheese!” Yes, Professor Langdon, and before you are suffocated by your own sense of self-importance, that triangle/inverted triangle symbol you see is not a pentagram, it’s the five-pointed pentangle of a one-star review.
Angels & Demons